Providing money to your child for the down payment of a house – is it a gift or a loan?

It is somewhat common for a parent to provide funds to their child for use as a down payment on a marital home. The amount is often substantial. Depending on the facts surrounding the transfer of funds, it may be a good idea to document whether the funds are a gift or whether the funds are a loan.

Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.
Providing your married children with funds to purchase a home is fairly common. It may be helpful to think about whether the funds will be viewed as a gift or viewed as a loan in the event your child is faced with divorce.

Why is this important?

If the funds are a gift to your child, and the funds are not traceable and/or commingled with marital funds, then used to purchase a marital residence, the funds become a marital asset, subject to equitable distribution in the event of a divorce. This is usually the position of the spouse of the donee. If your position is that the down payment funds were given as a gift, it would be helpful to produce the gift letter and perhaps a copy of the check that the donor signed.

If the funds are a loan, the loan must be repaid. If the house is sold due to divorce, or the title of the house is transferred due to divorce, you may be entitled to have the loan repaid from the proceeds of the sale or transfer. This is usually the position of the child of the creditor parent making the loan. If your position is that the funds were a loan, and therefore must be repaid, it would be helpful to produce an amortization or payment schedule, a promissory note showing the rate of interest charged, and proof of at least some repayment.

This post is simply to have you think about two of the many options you may have when providing a significant amount of funds to your married children.

No two family law matters are exactly alike. Nothing on this family law blog should be considered or used as legal advice. Nothing can replace consulting an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction, regarding your particular family law matter.

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The importance of maintaining good mental health and good physical health during divorce

Take care of yourself. Maintaining good mental health is one key element in being able to think clearly and logically during divorce. Maintaining good physical health, including getting enough exercise, will benefit you during divorce and beyond.

Research confirms that one of the most difficult issues you can face in life is going through a divorce. No two people will have the same exact response to the stress caused by a life changing event.  Your world may be turned upside down during divorce. Emotions may run wild. You are in unfamiliar territory. It is easy to feel out of control. You are not alone. This is common.

Think Logically
Having the ability to think logically will be a great benefit as you manage the stress of divorce.

Your ability to think clearly and logically will be two important assets for you during divorce. Maintaining good mental health may help you think more logically when you are under the tremendous stress that divorce can cause. 

While no two family law cases are exactly alike, there is a very good chance you will be called upon to make many choices during the divorce process. If you are working with a lawyer, he or she will set the legal strategy, do the legal work, explain the divorce process and the law, negotiate on your behalf,  keep you updated,  and answer your questions and concerns. Remember this fact: your lawyer works for you. It’s your case and ultimately, it is your life and future. Your lawyer will help guide you through the divorce process, and zealously advocate your position, within the law and within the rules of professional conduct. The more clearly and logically you can think, the better you will be able to evaluate what is happening around you and then make good choices with input from your lawyer. Thinking clearly and logically is not always easy during stressful and emotional times, but if you take the time to focus on your own well being, it can make the divorce process easier.

There are abundant mental health resources  available for people going through divorce. If you need assistance, be assured, you are not alone and help is available. 

Mental health professionals, support groups, and counselors are available to help you through the process of divorce. Some are trained to deal with divorce related issues. There are also books, webinars, and other media available to help you maintain your perspective and ability to think logically during what can be a very stressful time. It usually makes sense to use all the tools available to you to deal with the stress that can accompany divorce and allow the healing process to begin.

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