Follow your dreams, not the crowd

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq. April 22, 2020 3 minute read

Is marriage an outdated concept? This young man seems to be “going his own way”.

Fewer people are choosing marriage.

There is no shortage of information indicating fewer Americans are getting married. Recent studies show that marriage rates have been trending downward for decades. This short article examines some possible reasons why fewer people are marrying.

For many, the focus has turned inward. Self-care, setting personal goals, building wealth, becoming the best version of yourself, enjoying life is the new priority. For many, marriage is simply not a priority or even in the plan.

Many people are shunning conventional social norms regarding marriage and cohabitation. Many more people are establishing and pursuing their own goals and lifestyles, without regard for the norms of past decades. The high rate of non-functioning marriages, the 50%+ divorce rate (for first marriages) and the difficulty of obtaining a divorce have Americans rethinking the concept of marriage.

It is very easy to get married. It can be very difficult to get unmarried. Think before you act. Live intentionally.

Sometimes people enter marriage without properly vetting their future spouse. Untreated mental health disorders and incompatible personality problems are often overlooked and cast aside in the shadow of some people finding their “soulmate”. As a divorce lawyer, I have seen many people who believed that they could “fix” themselves if only they could find a suitable spouse. This almost never leads to a happily-ever-after.

Work hard on yourself. Take excellent care of yourself. Bring the very best version of yourself to the relationship. Insist on nothing less from the other person in your relationship. Live with intention. Marriage cannot and will not “save” you.

If you are coming into my office for a divorce consultation, it is usually too late. If you are thinking about getting married, take your time. Marriage could be one of the most important decisions you will make in your life.

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