Tag: Marriage

Follow your dreams, not the crowd

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq. April 22, 2020 3 minute read

Is marriage an outdated concept? This young man seems to be “going his own way”.

Fewer people are choosing marriage.

There is no shortage of information indicating fewer Americans are getting married. Recent studies show that marriage rates have been trending downward for decades. This short article examines some possible reasons why fewer people are marrying.

For many, the focus has turned inward. Self-care, setting personal goals, building wealth, becoming the best version of yourself, enjoying life is the new priority. For many, marriage is simply not a priority or even in the plan.

Many people are shunning conventional social norms regarding marriage and cohabitation. Many more people are establishing and pursuing their own goals and lifestyles, without regard for the norms of past decades. The high rate of non-functioning marriages, the 50%+ divorce rate (for first marriages) and the difficulty of obtaining a divorce have Americans rethinking the concept of marriage.

It is very easy to get married. It can be very difficult to get unmarried. Think before you act. Live intentionally.

Sometimes people enter marriage without properly vetting their future spouse. Untreated mental health disorders and incompatible personality problems are often overlooked and cast aside in the shadow of some people finding their “soulmate”. As a divorce lawyer, I have seen many people who believed that they could “fix” themselves if only they could find a suitable spouse. This almost never leads to a happily-ever-after.

Work hard on yourself. Take excellent care of yourself. Bring the very best version of yourself to the relationship. Insist on nothing less from the other person in your relationship. Live with intention. Marriage cannot and will not “save” you.

If you are coming into my office for a divorce consultation, it is usually too late. If you are thinking about getting married, take your time. Marriage could be one of the most important decisions you will make in your life.

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Every married person has a prenup. Either your own valid prenup or state divorce laws (by default) will control the outcome of your divorce.

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq. April 16, 2020 3 minute read

If a marriage ends due to divorce, every married person will either be subject to state divorce laws or subject to the terms of their own valid prenuptial agreement.

Either state divorce laws OR your own valid prenup will determine the outcome of your divorce and post-divorce life.

If you think about it, every married person has a prenuptial agreement in place. Smart couples negotiate and enter into their own valid, written prenuptial agreement. It is usually best for each person to choose and to hire an experienced attorney to draft, negotiate and execute a prenuptial agreement. Prenuptial agreements are not a Do-It-Yourself legal matter.

If you get married and the marriage becomes non-functioning, and you have not negotiated and executed your own valid prenuptial agreement, your legal rights and responsibilities will be governed by state divorce laws. So, in other words, without your own valid prenup in place, you will be subject to a “default prenup” also known as state divorce laws.

It takes time to draft and execute a valid prenup. Start the prenup process early.

Thinking about getting engaged? Do not be afraid to initiate the conversation about putting a valid prenup in place. In the event your marriage becomes non-functioning, a valid prenup can save you time and extensive costs in getting through the divorce process. I suggest that prenups be drafted and properly executed BEFORE any wedding plans are made. There should not be any time or other pressures placed on either person during the prenup process. Each person should have legal counsel of their own choosing.

Every person who marries has a prenuptial agreement. Either your own valid prenup or state divorce laws. GOOD NEWS: YOU CHOOSE.

I believe marriage is an important, life-changing consideration. I also believe everyone should be informed about their rights and responsibilities in the event the marriage becomes non-functioning. I invite your inquiry. Feel free to contact me at jonathancnobleesq at gmail.com or give my office a call (610) 256 4843. I look forward to hearing from you.

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A short video explaining how state divorce law becomes your “premarital agreement” if you do not execute your own valid premarital agreement.

Let the Divorce Beheading Begin

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq. on January 24, 2020 3 minute read

This poor fellow did not likely have a valid prenup

A simple prenuptial consultation before the wedding invitations are ordered may help save your future.

We all like to think that every marriage will last until “death do us part”. Unfortunately, more than half of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. For second marriages, the failure rate is over 60%. Third marriages fail more than 80% of the time. If you get married in the United States and the marriage lasts until the death of one spouse, you have beaten the odds. Congratulations.

Do not fear the “prenup discussion” with your future spouse.

Many people wrongly believe that they may jeopardize their upcoming wedding plans if they approach the topic of a prenup with the person they plan to marry. If you are afraid to approach your potential future spouse about entering into a comprehensive prenuptial agreement you may wish to reconsider. A prenup discussion is not “unromantic”. In fact, based on the facts of your case, and the personalities and expectations of the couple, a prenup could bring the parties closer together.

A prenuptial agreement is only good if it will be upheld in a court of law.

In other words, it is not usually a good idea to draft and execute your own prenup agreement, (unless you are an experienced family law attorney). Many jurisdictions have strict rules, statutes and decisional law regarding the drafting, execution, timing, and interpretation of prenuptial agreements. You do not want to find out the hard way that the boilerplate prenuptial agreement that you bought off of the internet and signed the night before the wedding is not worth the paper it was written on.

Thinking about getting married? Call an experienced family law attorney. Get informed. You can thank me later.

There is little accurate information available regarding your rights and financial responsibilities regarding marriage. Most people find out about their state laws regarding what happens as a result of a non-functioning marriage when their marriage fails. This can be a hard and expensive lesson to learn.

I invite your inquiry. I look forward to helping you avoid the potential pitfalls in the unfortunate event your marriage becomes non-functioning. Call me at (610) 256 4843 to set up a consultation.

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Who the (BLEEP) did I marry? This is NOT a question you want to be asking yourself.

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.             3 minute read

I was recently introduced to a television show titled “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry“? Being a divorce and family law attorney, I could not resist finding out more about the program.

Nobody should EVER allow themselves to stay in an abusive relationship. Keep your eyes open and trust your instincts before getting married.

Basically, the show is based on marriages where one newlywed has kept a deep, dark secret from their spouse. In fact, sometimes they have more than one deep, dark secret. Unfortunately, the unsuspecting spouse finds him or herself starring in their own real-life horror movie, with no easy way out.

Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? tells the unenviable stories about people who get married without really knowing the dark details about who they are marrying. Much like the show, I have seen people rush into a marriage for many reasons, and without knowing the other person very well. This is a high-risk gamble with a huge potential downside.

The real life stories are endless. Do your homework.

Some people feel that they “cannot do any better” so they “settle” on marrying their current partner. Some people feel that time is somehow “running out” and they want to get married before doing their homework. I have also seen couples enter into a marriage because their parents, friends, and or family members pressure them to get married. Of course, nobody should ever feel pressured to make a life decision, (such as getting married) unless and until they are ready.

The Evil Beauty, A Dangerous Affair, I Will Control You, Living a Double Life. Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? You do NOT want to be asking yourself this question. Do your homework. Take your time. Getting married is easy. Getting divorced can be difficult.

Be wary of spousal abuse before you walk down the aisle. Spousal abuse can take many forms. Economic abuse. Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. Sexual abuse. While it is not always possible to completely vet a potential spouse, it is possible to keep your eyes open for tell-tale signs of possible abuse. Take your time. Listen to your instincts. Open your eyes. Wide. Early. Often. Things rarely get better.

I have been contacted by many potential divorce clients who endure abusive marriages, and end up wondering “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry”? Sometimes they wait for years to take action because they do not want to be alone, or they feel like they would be considered a failure if they initiate divorce proceedings. While it is almost always preferable to work things out wherever possible and reasonable to do so, sometimes marriages become non-functioning or abusive.

In reality, I do not know of one person who escaped an abusive relationship or non-functioning marriage who was not convinced that they made the right decision. Actually, every abused person I ever met who did take action wishes they didn’t wait as long as they did. Most people saw warning signs, but chose to ignore them.

Proceed with caution before getting married. You do not want to star in your own version of “Who the (Bleep) did I Marry”?

While nothing in life is 100% certain, proceeding with caution can help prevent you from ever starring in your own version of “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry”?

I welcome your comments.

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