Tag: Family law

Follow your dreams, not the crowd

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq. April 22, 2020 3 minute read

Is marriage an outdated concept? This young man seems to be “going his own way”.

Fewer people are choosing marriage.

There is no shortage of information indicating fewer Americans are getting married. Recent studies show that marriage rates have been trending downward for decades. This short article examines some possible reasons why fewer people are marrying.

For many, the focus has turned inward. Self-care, setting personal goals, building wealth, becoming the best version of yourself, enjoying life is the new priority. For many, marriage is simply not a priority or even in the plan.

Many people are shunning conventional social norms regarding marriage and cohabitation. Many more people are establishing and pursuing their own goals and lifestyles, without regard for the norms of past decades. The high rate of non-functioning marriages, the 50%+ divorce rate (for first marriages) and the difficulty of obtaining a divorce have Americans rethinking the concept of marriage.

It is very easy to get married. It can be very difficult to get unmarried. Think before you act. Live intentionally.

Sometimes people enter marriage without properly vetting their future spouse. Untreated mental health disorders and incompatible personality problems are often overlooked and cast aside in the shadow of some people finding their “soulmate”. As a divorce lawyer, I have seen many people who believed that they could “fix” themselves if only they could find a suitable spouse. This almost never leads to a happily-ever-after.

Work hard on yourself. Take excellent care of yourself. Bring the very best version of yourself to the relationship. Insist on nothing less from the other person in your relationship. Live with intention. Marriage cannot and will not “save” you.

If you are coming into my office for a divorce consultation, it is usually too late. If you are thinking about getting married, take your time. Marriage could be one of the most important decisions you will make in your life.

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Let the Divorce Beheading Begin

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq. on January 24, 2020 3 minute read

This poor fellow did not likely have a valid prenup

A simple prenuptial consultation before the wedding invitations are ordered may help save your future.

We all like to think that every marriage will last until “death do us part”. Unfortunately, more than half of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. For second marriages, the failure rate is over 60%. Third marriages fail more than 80% of the time. If you get married in the United States and the marriage lasts until the death of one spouse, you have beaten the odds. Congratulations.

Do not fear the “prenup discussion” with your future spouse.

Many people wrongly believe that they may jeopardize their upcoming wedding plans if they approach the topic of a prenup with the person they plan to marry. If you are afraid to approach your potential future spouse about entering into a comprehensive prenuptial agreement you may wish to reconsider. A prenup discussion is not “unromantic”. In fact, based on the facts of your case, and the personalities and expectations of the couple, a prenup could bring the parties closer together.

A prenuptial agreement is only good if it will be upheld in a court of law.

In other words, it is not usually a good idea to draft and execute your own prenup agreement, (unless you are an experienced family law attorney). Many jurisdictions have strict rules, statutes and decisional law regarding the drafting, execution, timing, and interpretation of prenuptial agreements. You do not want to find out the hard way that the boilerplate prenuptial agreement that you bought off of the internet and signed the night before the wedding is not worth the paper it was written on.

Thinking about getting married? Call an experienced family law attorney. Get informed. You can thank me later.

There is little accurate information available regarding your rights and financial responsibilities regarding marriage. Most people find out about their state laws regarding what happens as a result of a non-functioning marriage when their marriage fails. This can be a hard and expensive lesson to learn.

I invite your inquiry. I look forward to helping you avoid the potential pitfalls in the unfortunate event your marriage becomes non-functioning. Call me at (610) 256 4843 to set up a consultation.

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I may have just saved you $10,000.00 in your child custody dispute

Watch this video. Listen. Learn.

Sometimes I will come across some great family law related content. No two child custody cases are exactly alike. Child custody laws vary from state to state. Even judges who sit in the same jurisdiction can have different views. However, take a few minutes to listen to what this North Carolina family court judge had to say. This is a low budget video. However, in my opinion, the content is worth more than any slick, high-cost production video any lawyer or law firm can produce.

The Always Angry Spouse – Tales From The Dark (Divorce) Side

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.                   3 minute read

Family law case facts never surprise me. Digging deep is what I do.

Every family law case has a unique set of facts. There is almost always two (or three) sides to a story. Sometimes people focus more on emotional issues than on getting to the root cause of the friction in their relationship. I have had potential divorce clients come in for a consultation, then enter therapy for themselves and take good care of themselves. Sometimes a potential divorce client successfully reconciles with their spouse or partner. This is always a good thing, whenever possible.

Unfortunately, sometimes reconciliation is not possible. That is where I come in.

“I told you 2% milk, and you come home with 1% milk! How could you do that to me!”

I have handled family law cases where the daily living situation is no longer tenable for one or both spouses. One case involved a person who became increasingly agitated at virtually nothing. In one case, I had a client who would arrive home after a long day working in a high-stress job, only to have his stay-at-home spouse start yelling at him, for virtually no logical reason about the most minor insignificant things. He came in for a consultation after he realized that his spouse was abusive and hostile towards him, and things were getting worse. One night he arrived home with 1% milk, after his spouse sent him a text message earlier that day to buy 2% milk on his way home. “They were out of 2% milk, and it was getting late”, he told me. Something needed to change.

Sometimes underlying issues can be fleshed out and cleaned up. Sometimes not.

It is amazing what can happen when people realize what they can change and what they cannot change. Sometimes people blame their spouse or loved ones for problems that they themselves own. Sometimes people come to a relationship with deeply rooted baggage that only they can examine and repair. It may take work, and it may take help from a competent and caring mental health professional, but some people are willing to put in the work to save their relationship and become a better version of themselves. In some cases, this is not possible.

Consulting with an experienced family law attorney does not mean you are ready to file for divorce. However, it will help you understand your options and help you formulate a strategy going forward.

If you have read this far, you are likely thinking about contacting an experienced divorce or family law attorney. An in-depth consultation is usually a good idea before filing any documents, or hiring any attorney to represent you. It is almost always best to understand all of your options through the lens of a family law attorney who is licensed to practice in your state. Forget the well-meaning advice from friends and family members. Friends and family may love you, but they do not know the law, and cannot assess your legal situation as an attorney can.

Feel free to contact my office at 610 256 4843 if you would like to set up a brief phone call or an in-depth face-to-face consultation. I look forward to hearing from you.

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Why you want a Smart / Savvy Lawyer, not a Rude / Obnoxious Lawyer

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.       5 minute Read

Smart, focused, savvy lawyers nearly always beat rude, obnoxious, bombastic lawyers in Family Court. 

As a family law attorney who has been involved in some epic battles, I want to share some insight. When all is said and done, the smart, focused, savvy and hard working lawyers nearly always beat the rude, obnoxious and bombastic lawyers in family court. Most excellent family law attorneys do not get caught up in the mindless and counterproductive fighting brought on by their adversary. The best lawyers are focused on winning their cases, and achieving favorable outcomes for their clients.

When lawyers fight with each other, progress grinds to a halt. Yet the meter is still running for the client.

When lawyers fight with each other, the client does not benefit. Skilled litigators are not baited by opposing counsel.

I am not sure why some divorce, child custody, and family law attorneys think that they must “put on a show” for their clients. I can’t tell you how many nasty letters and emails I have received from opposing counsel where they make absurd allegations about my client that are neither truthful, nor relevant to the issues in the case. Some letters even make ad hominem attacks on me for skillfully protecting and advancing my client’s rights. I find it interesting that some lawyers actually believe that the nasty, bombastic letters they send me will somehow positively impact the outcome of the family law matter in favor of their client. These letters are nothing more than an ill-advised or ignorant attempt by opposing counsel to demonstrate to their client what a “nasty shark” their client has hired. Then the “nasty shark” lawyer bills their client for the totally ineffective letter. The smart, savvy, and hard working lawyers are not at all impacted by nasty shark tactics. The smart and savvy lawyers can (and do) nearly always beat the nasty shark in every area of family law cases.

Nearly all nasty, obnoxious letters I receive are from opposing counsel who either a) do not know me well, and/or b) they do not know any other way to act. Some lawyers only have one mindset, and they only know one method to approach every case. They cannot understand the difference between motion and progress. Avoid hiring these types of lawyers to handle your family law matter, unless you enjoy wasting time and money.

These attorneys love to “put on a show” for their client. In nearly every situation, the nasty letters do nothing more than inflate the billable time opposing counsel charges their client, while doing nothing to resolve the legal issues in the case. In other words, inflammatory letters exchanged between lawyers are rarely (if ever) effective in resolving important legal issues and moving a family law case forward. They are only an effective tool in costing clients time and money.

Family Law Attorneys who Encourage Fights – A Big Red Flag When Choosing Legal Counsel

Family law cases get emotional. Divorce and child custody issues are rarely easy for either party. Emotions run high. If your attorney is encouraging fights over trivial matters, that is a red flag. Great lawyers can and do make terrific arguments on points that really matter to help you get a favorable outcome in your case. That is the bottom line.

Lawyer Jonathan Noble | Top Attorney Child Custody

Lawyer Jonathan Noble | Top Attorney Divorce

Is your divorce or child custody lawyer listening to you?

by Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.                  4 Minute Read

Last year I wrote about choosing your divorce or child custody attorney very carefully. Based on the number of contacts I am receiving from people who want to retain me as their second, third or fourth family law attorney, it seems as though some people are rushing to hire the first attorney they meet. It is usually best if you are not constrained to switch attorneys before your family law case is concluded. I realize that things do not always work out as planned when you hire a family law attorney. However, early due diligence on your part could save time, costs, and stress. Here below are some of “red flags” to consider when choosing a family law attorney.

in-sync-rowing-with-your-lawyer
The more in sync you are with your family law attorney, the more you may increase your odds for a favorable result. Working closely as a team can also help your family law matter move more quickly. This could help drive down costs.

RED FLAG # 1 – BEWARE IF YOU HEAR “DON’T WORRY, I’LL HANDLE EVERYTHING” BEFORE FULLY EXPLAINING THE FACTS OF YOUR CASE

Sometimes family law matters can get emotional. Clients are usually stressed. Tensions run high. Much is at stake. It is at this moment that you need to be sure that any potential attorney you may hire is carefully listening to the facts of your case and clearly understanding your goals. Any lawyer who rushes you, or tries to minimize your specific situation, is likely not someone who will get you the best results. If your concerns are constantly met with “don’t worry, I’ll handle everything”, even before you have finished explaining the facts of your family law matter, you should probably continue interviewing potential legal counsel.

RED FLAG #2 – BEWARE OF THE LAWYER WHO SAYS “I HAVE SEEN THIS ALL BEFORE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING”

In my opinion, with very limited exception, there is no such thing as a “routine” family law matter. Every situation is a little bit different. For example, sometimes very small nuances in a child custody case can be a decisive factor. If one or both parties are predisposed to conflict, small nuances can sometimes blow up into  unnecessary battles. It is nearly always a good idea to try to minimize potential conflict. A competent lawyer who fully understands your position is normally in the best position to advocate for you, while trying to minimize conflict. A level-headed attorney who actively listens and understands your goals is usually in the best position to help deliver the best results.

RED FLAG #3 – YOUR CALLS AND EMAILS ARE RARELY RETURNED.

Attorneys who handle divorce, child custody, child and spousal support, Protection from Abuse (PFA’s), and other family law matters are in court a significant amount of time. That means your calls or emails may not be returned until after 5 pm. If your calls or emails are often not returned at all, you should find out why. This may be a red flag.

INTERVIEWING A FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY BEFORE HIRING HIM OR HER IS TIME WELL SPENT. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SEARCH VIGOROUSLY. TAKE NOTE OF HOW JUST WELL YOU ARE BEING HEARD. IF YOU ARE IN SYNC WITH YOUR FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY AND YOUR CASE IS MOVING TO A SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION, I CONGRATULATE YOU IN THE SELECTION OF YOUR LEGAL COUNSEL.

I invite your inquiry. (610) 256 4843. jonathancnobleesq@gmail.com

Lawyer Jonathan Noble | Top Attorney Family

 

 

Driving costs out of the divorce process – part one

Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.
Jonathan C. Noble, Esq.

One way to help drive costs out of the divorce process is to gather as much financial information as you can, especially while you still have access to it. Some lawyers call this early information gathering as “informal discovery”. The more information you can gather early in your divorce process, the more you will help expedite your divorce to a successful conclusion, while saving costs and fees in the process. Hopefully, this is part of your overall strategy, while protecting your legal rights.

Many divorces involve a process known as discovery. Discovery is basically the act or process of finding or learning something that was previously unknown. Many lawyers use discovery techniques to obtain financial documents and other key pieces of information. Bank records, tax returns, property appraisals, business records, investment and IRA account statements, etc. are needed to determine and accurately divide marital assets.

If you have access to this information, you should make copies and put the copies in a safe place, preferably, outside the marital home. When gathering and copying the information, it is better to be over inclusive rather than under inclusive.

Obviously, it is not always possible to obtain all the necessary information. Your lawyer knows this.  In many households, one spouse or the other typically handles the finances. That spouse usually stores the documents or knows their whereabouts. However, you have every right to obtain and copy anything you own.

Your lawyer can subpoena banks and financial institutions for any missing documents. There are other legal methods to obtain missing documents directly from your (soon to be) ex-spouse. All of this extra work can be time-consuming and/or expensive. The more prepared you are at the front end of the divorce process, the more you can help drive some of your costs and expenses out of the divorce process. 

This is just one way you can take a proactive role in lowering your overall costs in divorce.

Lawyer Jonathan Noble | Top Attorney Divorce